Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
-- Max Ehrmann, Desiderata
We have all –women and men –struggled with the inevitable changes that accompany ageing. Eons of humanity have passed this way before; but we still have not come to terms with the slow but ultimate deterioration of our human body.
In ages past, life was shorter and the cycle of life was accepted and expected. Today, it seems we expect to live forever, or at least, consider fifty as middle age,assuming we will live to a hundred. We baby-boomers are used to getting our way and looking “young” is a right, with help from beauticians and cosmetic surgery. There is nothing more pitiful than seeing an older woman in a bar –made up like a teenager looking for love; or a corpulent older man, in the same bar, ogling younger women who would not give him a second look but for his matching wallet.
I often hear the phrase “you are only as old as you feel.” This silly rationalization most often comes from an older person trying to soothe another senior. Acceptance of our ageing is not capitulation- it is a realization of reality and can even be comfortable. For most, retirement is a respite from past daily struggles, and a time to reflect and do things that you never had time for when having to earn you daily bread. If you are fortunate enough to have a healthy, relatively comfortable retirement, you can enjoy the fruits of your past labours, and throw the alarm clock out the window.
Regretting past errors and lost opportunities is another waste of senior’s limited time. If you were young again, you might not make the same mistakes –but you would make many other mistakes. No one gets through life “scot-free”. What we should do, in the limited time we have left, is to spend it carefully and to be as thrifty as we would be with our limited monetary resources. Each day is a gift. I don’t mean that we should not look after our bodies, and try to keep as fit as we possibly can. I do. Yet, I don’t fret over every new wrinkle or every lost hair.
Someone once told me; “In my old age, I enjoy looking at a beautiful woman, as I would look at a beautiful rose, appreciating the beauty without feeling that I have to have her.” I feel much the same way.
There is a beautiful poem, by Max Ehrmann: Desiderata, ostensibly written to his son. It is on par with Rudyard Kipling’s IF. I read it now and then, and each time it is as inspiring –in particular the following stanza:
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Sage advice we should all heed.
